Southern Expressions

He said what?

2010-06-12T05:58:00.001-05:00

Night before last, in the very middle of the night, I woke up to go to the bathroom. After I returned to bed and was about to drift away, Justin says this in his sleep and in the most proper voice you can imagine: "I simply cannot resist putting my dirty little fingers into each and every one of these goldfish bowls." Where in the hell it came from, I have no idea, but I’ve been cracking up ever time I think about it.

The twit tweets

2010-06-11T13:39:00.001-05:00

My friend Daniel has been telling me for quite some time that I should be on twitter. I resisted at first because I thought it was a flash in the pan. You know, like television, radio or democracy. Then I resisted just because I wasn’t interested. But now, I’ve decided to give twitter a go. So if you’d like, you can follow me there. But, I’ll still be here as well. And I redecorated in honor of the occasion, I suppose. That’s it for now, I hope you have a great weekend.

Rush is right?

2010-05-05T12:20:00.001-05:00

“We can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind.
Swim out past the breakers, watch the world die.” - Everclear

I have been thinking a lot about what Rush Limbaugh has said concerning the devastating oil leak (Can we please quit calling it a spill?) in the Gulf of Mexico.

He said “…the ocean will take care of this on its own if it was left alone and was left out there.”

I’ve decided he’s right.

Because in the larger picture, when you look at our earth as more than just a snapshot (our frame of reference) in time and realize that it is an awesomely unique planet billions of years in the making, yes, “nature” will take care of it.

Maybe our thirst for oil, coal, uranium, plutonium, power and control will persist until we've destroyed everything beautiful on this planet and devalued life as we know it for all things political.

But, I’m afraid that by the time we realize that our very existence on this planet was a rare, precious gift, nature will have taken care of us.

And my guess is that the earth will be better off.

Bloglines

2010-04-22T18:04:00.001-05:00

I use Bloglines exclusively as an aggregator to keep up with all of my (many) news feeds, blogs, sites of interest, etc. It has been down since this morning and will remain down until 1am, the 23rd.

I am so lost without it. Manually searching my news sites for the “new” news? That is sooo 2002.

And yes, yes, I know! All the cool kids use Google Reader, but I started using Bloglines before Google had a reader. I’m used to it, all of my stuff is there, I like how it works. Except for when it doesn’t. Like now.

Bumnmer.

Something unexpected…

2010-04-13T10:29:00.001-05:00

…in operation SmokeOut. It seems that the smoking was helping with previously unknown levels of anxiety. In an effort to reduce my anxiety levels I’ve been drinking more beer than usual in the evenings. The problem with that is that the drinking the night before also increases my anxiety in the mornings.

So, it’s been quite the Catch-22. Of course if I had still had medical insurance, I’d talk to a doc about all of this, (as I also think there is some depression in there too) but since I no longer have that luxury I’ve decided to quit drinking, at least for a while. It seems to help level out the anxiety instead of there being huge peaks and deep valleys.

I’ve been thinking about trying kava to lessen some of the effects. I’ve also read that exercise can help, too.

This also neatly dovetails into other things I’ve read concerning smokers. The ones that find it most difficult to quit are usually the ones that are depressed.

Anyway, I’m determined not to smoke anymore. No matter what it takes.

Joke off Monday 65

2010-04-12T09:16:00.001-05:00

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out and relax! I mean, no sex since 1955! Come with me."

She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."

The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."

Another joke off Monday for your reading pleasure. I hope you have a great week!

This is what you need

2010-04-11T00:38:00.001-05:00

My favorite band and favorite song at the moment:

Them Crooked (fucking) Vultures. They are the bad ass. Totally.

Joke off Monday 64

2010-03-25T13:46:00.002-05:00

Father to young son: “When you grow up I hope for you to be the President of the United States.”

Son to father: “If you want me to be President, why are you making me learn two languages?”

Father to young son: “Son, you may write legislation and speak to the people in English, but as president you’ll also have to deal with calls from debt collectors. They will all speak Chinese.”

Have a great week!

Joke off Monday 63

2010-03-22T07:08:00.001-05:00

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Hope you have a great week!

Only 22 years

2010-03-17T15:48:00.001-05:00

It’s been a busy week, I certainly meant to get by here and post before now. The best laid plans, you know?

Back in November, I read some things about the new electronic cigarette market. There were some testimonials posted online where people swore by the e-cigarettes and said that they would never go back to traditional cigarettes.

As a heavy smoker (I’ve smoked two packs plus for many, many years.) I was dubious as to whether it would satisfy the cravings of a hard core (addicted) dude like myself, but I figured I’d give it a shot, anyway. I mean, I was so tired of my chest hurting and hacking away every morning, you know?

So I ordered the e-cigarette contraption and waited a couple of weeks. Finally, it came in. You know what? It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t bad at all! You see, these things have nicotine in them and simply vaporize that, water and a small amount of alcohol and you inhale it into your lungs. You get your nicotine without all of the harmful stuff. So, on December 10, I smoked my last cigarette.

Within a week my lungs and my chronic sore throat felt so much better. It was amazing! I wasn’t coughing up all kinds of crud in the morning!

But then, a couple of weeks ago, I decided I was tired of carrying around the stuff for the e-cigarette. So I quit them. Cold turkey. I’m now nicotine free for the first time in 22 years. It was difficult to transition to the e-cigarette, because it felt so different. But I got used to it fairly quickly. It was even harder to give up the e-cigarette. The first 4 days? Yeah, they were a little rough. But I never felt like I would go the homicide route as you so often feel when you quit smoking cold turkey. And now? I feel pretty damned good. I rarely even think about a cigarette. Oh, and for some reason, when I drink my beer? I’m not craving a cigarette, either.

So there you go. Something happened that I never thought would. I quit smoking. That’s the exciting news I wrote about last week. It only took 22 years and I suppose no one is more surprised than myself.

I’m waiting…

2010-03-12T00:17:00.001-06:00

Just a few days to give you all some exciting news. It’s amazing for me.

Joke off Monday 62

2010-03-08T10:33:00.002-06:00

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. But, unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address he did his best to type it from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, this is what she saw:

Dearest Wife,
They just checked me in. Everything is ready for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S.
Sure is hot down here.

Hope you have a great week!

I think it’s here!

2010-03-02T09:47:00.002-06:00

It appears that we’ll finally get some spring-like temperatures by the weekend. I can hardly wait. This winter has been dragging on. I’m ready to see some green in the trees and on the ground and to begin to wear shorts again. Oh yeah, and to see other men-folk wear their shorts again, too!

I’ve had enough

2010-02-11T12:47:00.001-06:00

This winter stuff? Sucking the big time this year. Normally we would be in the lower 50’s for highs this time of year, yet it remains frigid here. They’re even predicting that we may get more snow Friday. I say bring on the green grass and the blooms of flowers and tress. And some damned warming sunshine.

That’s all I’ve got on my mind, for now. I have to go into the office for a little bit. (Le boo.)

Joke off Monday 61

2010-02-08T11:06:00.001-06:00

A primer on the Southern lifestyle for visiting Northerners:

1. Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day, so let them cook something they know.

2. Don't laugh at people's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy Ann, Mari Beth, and Inez have all been known to whip a man's ass for less than that.

3. Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda. Down South it's called Coke, even if you want a Pepsi.

4. We are fully aware that the humidity is high. Quit your bitching.

5. Don't order wheat toast at the Cracker Barrel. If you do this, everyone will know you're from Ohio. Eat the biscuits like God intended and for goodness sake, don't put sugar in your grits.

6. Don't attempt to fake a Southern accent. We can tell.

7. Don't go around talking about how much better it is back home.

8. We don't play lacrosse, hockey or any of those other sissy ass Northern games, so don't ask about the scores.

9. We know how to speak proper English, we talk this way because we want to and we can. It's like playing jazz, you have to know how to do it right first.

10. Last, but by no means least...DO NOT try to tell us how to barbecue. This could lead to permanent expulsion and revocation of your work visa. Don't push your luck!

In other news we have snow in Memphis and are expected to get more this evening. It seems to have taken everyone by surprise, including the local weather reporters. Yes, Justin is excited.

Have a great week!

And about that geekage

2010-02-03T08:22:00.001-06:00

Last year I ordered Justin and I matching ThinkPads. They’re R51’s which were the budget model for ThinkPads 5 or more years ago. I bought them off lease at a really good price from an online retailer of whose name I can’t remember. Anyway, as it turns out, the laptop quickly became my daily mode of communicating, internetting and all things I do computer wise. The R51’s have really small hard drives, but that wasn’t a problem for me as I have the home server with plenty of storage, so I simply kept all of my docs and stuff there.

Since it became so useful to me, I was certainly dismayed when the mouse pad and its functions died one day. After asking on an online forum as to what the nature of the problem might be, I took it apart and attempted to repair it. No dice in that department. I looked into having it repaired, but it was too expensive as compared to the worth of the laptop.

So, I took Justin’s laptop. I’ve been using it for a few months now and he really would like to have it back, especially when he visits the local coffee bar so he can surf the internets there. (As you do. I suppose. I’ve never been. I can surf and drink coffee right here at the house and never miss a beat. But, I digress.) It’s something he enjoys doing and he meets friends there and whatnot.

I’ve been looking around for a replacement, something faster and newer. This past week I found someone selling what is (in my mind) the Holy Grail of ThinkPads. A T60p.

I know what you’re thinking: “Oh my gosh, Brad. I can’t believe you’re going to get one of those! .That is fan-effing-tas-tic! I’m green with envy!”

Wait. What? Huh? You don’t know what a T60p is?

Okay, lemme tell you about this one: It’s got 3GB’s of RAM, a 2.16 Core Duo processor, a 360GB hard drive and has Windows 7 on it already. But the neat thing is the LCD display. It’s called a Flexview. It’s supposed to have some of the most vibrant colors of any laptop display ever made. You can view it equally well at any angle and it doesn’t fade or distort as one moves their head. Oh yeah, and they don’t make them anymore.

Anyway there are a few more niceties other than that, but let’s just say I’m stoked. It’s supposed to be delivered tomorrow and let me tell you, this has been one slooow week.

Hell, it’s only been a year!

2010-02-02T12:20:00.002-06:00

Hi. I’m back. One of my good friends (CKB) sent a comment and reminded me that it had been one year since I last posted. It doesn’t seem that long, but apparently it has. Why did I take a break? That’s easy enough: I got to the point that the blog was feeling more like a job than fun. I would stare at the screen for long periods, trying to come up with an idea to write about.

I was never trying to be secretive or mysterious, I just took a break. Although the break was longer than I originally intended perhaps, it was surely needed. The reason I didn’t mention anything about it here was because I wasn’t really sure on any details or how long the break would be. All I did know was this: Like MacArthur, someday I would return.

What’s new here? I suppose the main development is that I work from home now. It’s amazing that I can be just as effective in my underwear as I am dressed and at the office. When I’m on the phone, a client can’t tell the difference because they can’t see me! I still work for the same company, but we downsized our offices again. I took a look around and volunteered to work from home. Yes, you know me, I give until it hurts.

Things are going well with Justin and I. Later this year we’ll celebrate 8 years together. (I told him it felt like 20 years on our last anniversary. He wasn’t nearly as amused as I was.)

I’ve been keeping up with many of you via your blog or your Twitter- thingy. I may not have commented much. But I’ve been there. Watching you. Lurking. :)

That’s it for now. I’ll have much more later. (Oh yeah, I’m getting some geekage shipped in later this week. So. Terribly. Excited!)

Joke-off Monday 60

2009-02-02T06:22:00.003-06:00

This joke was sent to me by my buddy in PEE-AAY:

One sunny day in January 2009, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer President and no longer resides here."

The old man said, "Okay", and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer President and no longer resides here."

The man thanked him and again just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine, understandably perplexed at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row that you have asked to speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you repeatedly that Mr. Bush is no longer the President and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir".

There you are, a Joke-off Monday to get your week started. See you soon.

Christmas past

2008-12-26T17:50:00.009-06:00

Hi! Gosh, it has been a long time since I've posted. There's been a lot of crap-ola going on. The good news is that I'm still employed. That's more than many can say, for sure.

I didn't do anything for Christmas, Justin went out of town and I stayed home. I was supposed to go visit some relatives, but I overslept. Since it's a two hour drive, I wouldn't have made it in time for Christmas dinner. So the retarded dog, the bird and I had ham sandwiches.

Over the past month or so, I built a home server out of an old computer, some spare parts and a new 500 gb hard drive. With all of this excess capacity for storage and having purchased a refurbished scanner that I use for when I work from home, I started scanning old pictures in albums that I borrowed from my mother. (Which is what I did most of the day yesterday. Remove picture from album, scan, adjust settings, replace picture in album and repeat.)

Anyway, right now I've got many pictures from the 70's scanned, not that there was any order, but most of these pictures were in albums and I started with them. Yeah, I've got a long way to go. A lot of the pictures are from Christmases years ago and I thought I'd share a handful with you.

The little blond headed guy in the pictures, is my brother. The lady with the long hair in the first picture is my mother and I'm sitting in my grandmother's lap. The other kid is a cousin. What kind of redneque child does not wear a shirt at Christmas? Um yeah, that would be my brother and me. Some of these were taken in 1976, some in 1977.

I hope you had a great Christmas. I think I might be back over here more often now that the holidays are over.

Thoughts of a terrorist

2008-11-08T02:25:00.004-06:00

"In this time of new beginnings and rising expectations, it is even more urgent that we figure out how to become the people we have been waiting to be. "

A quote of Bill Ayers, the distinguished college professor and "terrorist".

Read more here: http://www.truthout.org/110708R

You know, I'm ready to "pal around" with this guy, myself.

Hell, I'll bet he's a beer drinker as well.

BND

2008-11-04T23:48:00.002-06:00

Yes indeed, it is a brand new day. When Ohio went for Obama, I knew it was over. I called everyone that I knew that cared about the election.

That's really all I have to say, except for the fact that I cried.

Like a baby.

VP funnies

2008-10-02T15:53:00.002-05:00

A couple of comments I read at reddit today:

1. Eight words that can win the debate for Biden tonight:
"Now, let me give you a direct answer."

2. Alternatively, eight words that can lose the debate for Biden:
"Bitch, you don't make any God damned sense."

Oh, I just laughed...

Another build

2008-09-29T18:35:00.007-05:00

I built another computer that uses two internet connections from my router. This was just some cast-off parts I've accumulated, mind you. The only item I've purchased was a (sweet, cheap EVGA) graphics card. It's a 939 AMD (4000, single core, San Diego) system with an ASUS motherboard that still uses DDR (2 gigs) memory.

My total cost for the system so far: approx $50, including a rebate. The rest of the build is comprised of hand-me-downs.

My download speed can kick your download speed's ass. (Well certainly not yours, Bryan!)

Anyhoos, the Brad has been in his mad computer guy lab cooking up a new project. That's the reason why you haven't seen me so much. Or one of the reasons, maybe. So, you want pictures? Sound off in the comments and we'll see about getting some up here...

Curioser and curioser

2008-09-26T11:15:00.005-05:00

Okay, he was going to the debate, then he wasn't going, and now... he's going?! Holy shit. I thought John Kerry was supposed to be the flip-flopper. But, whatever.

I've decided McCain is a damned lunatic.

Oh yeah, I needed to go to Oxford, Mississippi today to do a job, but I've decided to wait until Monday. I think there might be a little bit of traffic there today. Just a hunch.

Have a great weekend!

Post 9/11

2008-09-12T09:27:00.003-05:00

Today I read someone's comment on the post September 11 era. It summed up almost exactly my thoughts and feelings. It was so accurate, I was moved to share it with you.

The comment is attributable to a natedouglas. The link to the reddit post is here.

"National nervous breakdown.

I admit I was pretty fiery that day, but as I've grown up and gotten out of the military, I find the whole thing embarrassing. I don't even want to remember the crap I told my mother when she called asking if I was okay. I probably didn't say anything too jingoistic, nationalistic, xenophobic, or just plain stupid, but I can't be 100%.

Rest of the world: sorry, guys. It's a bit like a small child throwing a screaming fit when they get a tetanus shot, isn't it? I know. I'm sorry. We can't even conceive of losing tens of thousands of people in an earthquake or tsunami, or living under sustained bombing, or living through a famine or plague. We cringe at the horrors of socialized medicine, FFS.

And our response to losing a few thousand fine, decent, average, innocent people was to flip the fuck out. We killed or effectively allowed to be killed untold thousands of people in the most poorly-planned, deceitful, and idiotic war in years. We insulted our most steadfast and sympathetic allies, the French, who an intelligent and emotionally mature US would never, ever accuse of cowardice, weakness, or ignorance of what war is. We insulted the Germans, barely recovering from centuries of fragmentation and despair punctuated by moments of fervent nationalism. We dragged the British in with us. We've badgered, belittled, blackmailed, and bombed so much recently that I don't even know where to begin.

I remember how good it felt to hear that so many people throughout the world were horrified by what happened here that day. Much like Kruschev's sorrow when he heard Kennedy was assassinated, even Fidel Castro expressed horror and offered humanitarian aid. You know, I even thought it might be a weird situation where the terrorists would lose -- that the world would actually begin to join together, old crimes and insults might be forgiven, birds would sing, and the sun would shine, and people might learn to respect each other regardless of national boundaries and belief systems and skin color.

No, seriously, I thought some good might actually come out of it. Time to play another round of "let's all laugh at the hippie," right? What an idiot, right?

Seven years later, I just want to ask forgiveness. We haven't lived up to our arrogated duty to be a shining city on the hill.

(There's been a bit of a power failure, you see, and we haven't quite figured out that it takes 300 million Americans to change a light bulb.)"

I could have never summed it up as well or put my feelings to paper better than that.

I hope you have a great weekend.

A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste

2008-09-10T17:58:00.004-05:00

Look, I know it's the Large Hadron Collider, but everytime I see it in print, I think "large hardon collider" and get the mental snickers...

God, I'm like a twelve year old.

Joke off Monday 59

2008-09-08T09:34:00.004-05:00

This joke was sent to me by my brother.

A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called "The Knob", where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob."

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, the effects were wonderful and the woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.
"All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."

The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."

She said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee, then."

I hope you have a great week.

A Greedy meme

2008-09-05T11:06:00.005-05:00

I stole this from the Lem:

1. How do you like your eggs?

I like eggs cooked by most any method, but my favorite is fried, over easy.

2. How do you take your coffee/tea?

Coffee: Black and hot. Truck stop coffee, if you will.
Tea: Iced, of course.

3. Favorite breakfast food:

I love sausage gravy over biscuits. I rarely have it as I do the low(er)carb thing.

4. Peanut butter:

I don't care for it.

5. What kind of dressing on your salad?

Typically? Bleu cheese. But not always. You have to watch me, I'm all spontaneous like that...

6. Coke or Pepsi?

Diet Coke.

7. You’re feeling lazy. What do you make?

To hell with making something. I open a beer.

8. You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order?

Canadian bacon, onions, mushrooms, black olives and extra cheese.

9. You feel like cooking. What do you make?

Whatever you want. I cook damned near every night.

10. Do any foods bring back good memories?

I'm just not that emotional about my food, I suppose.

11. Do any foods bring back bad memories?

See 10

12. Do any foods remind you of someone?

Fried chicken makes me think of my mother. Hers used to be fran-effin-tastic when I was growing up. Now? Not so good. I don't know what happened.

13. Is there a food you refuse to eat?

Veg-All salad, any kind of liver.

14. What was your favorite food as a child?

I was never a picky eater and liked lots of foods.

15. Is there a food that you hated as a child but now like?

Green beans.

16. Is there a food that you liked as a child but now hate?

I don't think so.

17. Favorite fruit and vegetable:

I don't eat much of anything sweet, but I suppose a banana.

18. Favorite junk food?

Taco Hell.

19. Favorite between meal snack?

For the most part, I don't snack. I eat twice a day.

20. Do you have any weird food habits?

I can't think of any.

21. You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on?

Steak, eggs, cheese.

22. You’re off your diet. Now what would you like?

Italian anything!

23. How spicy do you order Indian/Thai?

I don't believe I've been given the choice.

24. Can I get you a drink?

"Beer, Edith" (I actually say that to Justin sometimes. You should see him roll his eyes and the evil look he gives me. I just don't know when to quit.)

25. Red or White wine?

Um, yeah. Go ahead and bring me a glass until I can find the beer.

26. Favorite dessert?

Banana pudding.

27. The perfect nightcap?

Have your nightcap. I'll have a beer.

Hope you have a great weekend.

It's all about Gustav

2008-08-31T00:44:00.007-05:00

For those of you that haven't been to New Orleans, I would like to let you know that it is a beautiful city, full of music, fantastic food and eclectic people. The jazz is performed by old time masters. (Although I haven't been to one, I've been assured by Justin that the "bars" are fantastic as well.)

But, something that may surprise you is this: one must walk up stairs to be eye level with and to see the Mississippi River. To be eye level with. Not to look upon.

I remember visiting New Orleans as a young boy (I've been to visit since.) and being confused because we had to climb stairs to see the river. In Memphis, we always look down at the river from high bluffs. At my young age, I knew there was something intrinsically wrong with looking up at the river.

The bottom line is this: Were it not for the engineering efforts of man, New Orleans would not exist.

Period.

Give 'em hell, Bill

2008-08-26T22:36:00.005-05:00

After reading the Borowitz Report, it seems former President Clinton will be on 5 second delay tomorrow when he gives his speech in Denver for the Democratic National Committee.

It's believed to be the first time any president has been placed on time delay.

I quote Borowitz's post:

"For his part, former President Clinton said that he was "surprised" by the DNC's decision to institute the five-second delay, but added, "It's just like those motherfuckers."

Whether it's true or not, I have no idea, but I just laughed and laughed. Mainly because I can hear him say it in my mind.

He's golden

2008-08-25T23:32:00.006-05:00

I discovered Matthew Mitcham through Kendall's blog. He won the gold medal for diving at the olympics in Beijing.

He's soo damned cute, and I love the way he nuzzles against his boyfriend during the interview.

Oh yeah, and if you want to see photos of him diving, in his speedos, just google him like I did...

Scan this!

2008-08-22T09:45:00.006-05:00

Guess who's getting a new (to me) toy?

I've been wanting a scanner for quite a while. As it is, whenever I work from home, I have to use my neighbor's scanner to send my reports to the office. She has one of those all in one jobbies that scans prints and faxes. I considered getting one of those, but I have such an awesome- fast HP laser printer that I hated to give it up.

So for a couple of months I've been looking for a decent used scanner at the right price. (With the budget that I'm on, free would have been ideal, but I digress...) Yesterday, I found this really clean looking one on eBay with all of the accessories and documentation from an individual. Less than fifty bucks and that includes shipping.

God, how I love geek stuff!

Anyhoos, enjoy your Friday and have a great weekend!

Hitting the nail on the head

2008-08-19T10:50:00.003-05:00

I read this posting by Nance Greggs at democraticunderground.com today. She summarizes the Bush legacy very succinctly.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6495674#6498326.

I really couldn't agree more.

Thank goodness there are only a few more months of this shiznit left.

Geography demi-god

2008-08-05T17:26:00.002-05:00

Al Franken is quite impressive in this quick video. He draws a political map of the U.S. in about 3 minutes.

I thought it was pretty cool, anyway.

R and R

2008-08-04T14:06:00.003-05:00

I'm considering making my blog more of a "Lifestreaming" site. It might take a while to decide exactly how I'll do that, or then again, I might not change a damned thing. I'm funny that way. But I did find the linked article above interesting, nonetheless.

I'm off today and tomorrow. Just needed a little time away from le office. (Of course, I've already been called and had to type up a quick report...)

Pretty much it's two degrees cooler than hell in Memphis, so I don't suspect I'll be outside lazing in a hammock or doing yard work. Oh well.

Anyway, I hope you're having a great Monday at work. I am having a beer. Hah!

Best of craigslist 2

2008-07-30T13:05:00.001-05:00

Dear Cat,

Date: 2008-03-24, 12:02PM CDT

Dear Cat,
I have some issues with you right now that I would like to hash out. And now is as good a time as any with you laying over my arms while I am trying to type on the computer. You don't even look comfortable and you can't breathe lying like that with your butt higher up than your head but your brain is the size of a walnut so I will forgive you.
First of all, the litterbox. Is it your goal to poop on the rim of the box? Because if it is, bravo! Mission accomplished, you can stop now. You have proved your point. It is not funny anymore, and I have run out of sticks in the yard to clean it off with. The box is big enough, and you are still small, so don't even go there.
Now... making pointless, incessant noises. If I take something away from you because I am tired of hearing it scoot across the floor for the last 2 hours, it does not mean to go find something else to mess with. I mean really where do you find this stuff? A wad of paper? A bottle cap? Is that really that fun to play with?
I put things on the coffee table because I want them there. I do not want you to knock EVERYTHING off of the coffee table in one of your mindless "tearing ass through the house for no reason" adventures every single day. Once in a while, it is amusing. Every day, it's not that funny.
Your ass stinks. I mean REALLY stinks. Like the worst poop you've ever smelled. Why do you smell soooo horrible? I thought cats were clean! I have never experienced this smelly, stinky cat phenomena with any other cat on this Earth. Why, God, did you give me the most stinky cat in this solar system? And Cat, why do you insist on showing me your ass? I know it stinks, but what am I supposed to do about it? Bathe you??? LOL! Remember the last time that happened? I still have the scars... Also, when you sit on my arm, please have the kindness to put your tail over your butthole so it doesn't come into contact with my skin. I might catch something.
Lastly, I am allergic to you. I know this isn't your fault, but knowing this, why do you insist on rubbing the whole length of your body on my face? Okay... I just pulled a CATHAIR out of my eye. No wonder my eyes are itchy if you are purposefully depositing your dander into my eyes! What are you trying to prove here? That you know I'm stuck with you? While you're busy carrying things about the house in your mouth to deposit them into some area that I haven't discovered yet- would you mind bringing me a peice of sandpaper to me so that I can alleviate the itching you've caused me? Oh- while we're on this subject, I need my hair ties back- I know you have them. Thanks.

Rockin' down the highway

2008-07-29T09:18:00.002-05:00

Pardon me while I think out loud.

I read this today:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25891664/

Billions less miles per month being traveled is a lot less miles, folks. Therefore, on average one would assume that the overall costs of maintenance to nation's interstate system will go down.

There is an upside to the gas crunch and that is one of them.

So, let's not worry so much in advance how the government is going to pay for repairs that may not even be needed. This year's budget projections really don't even apply in many ways since it was funded last year before the price of oil was so high.

Eighteen cents per gallon is what we've been working with, all that's changed is the amount of miles driven.

Best of craigslist

2008-07-23T12:50:00.002-05:00

To my neighbor who I saw pooping in his yard yesterday - w4m

Date: 2008-06-05, 2:52PM EDT

I saw you couched down with your pants around your ankles. I asked "Hey, what are you doing?". Your reply was "Pooping in a groundhog hole! I read about it online. It's suppose to trick the groundhog into thinking another animal has moved into it's lair.".

Since you are normally a sane person I refrained from calling the police.

I read this and I've been snickering and giggling for about an hour now. - Brad

Are you kidding me?

2008-07-19T00:22:00.002-05:00

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92592545

We are concerned about how much food these ladies are able to afford with their food stamps?

Seriously?

I, personally, have lost close to twenty pounds in a few months because I eat and spend less now for lunch and dinner.

It's not because I'm trying to lose weight, I simply can't afford the food that I used to buy.

Discuss, if you'd like.

Make it a lively office

2008-07-18T14:09:00.003-05:00

Seven things you can do today at your office to make it more enjoyable:

Run one lap around the office at top speed.
Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Have a great weekend!

Dear lady

2008-07-17T11:45:00.003-05:00

Dear lady at the convenience store,

When one is buying a few items at the local convenience store, it is considered polite to have your wallet out of your over-sized handbag and to be prepared to pay, instead of rummaging through your bag after the clerk tells you what the price is.

Furthermore, it is considered a teensy bit rude to stand at the counter and re-arrange the items in your handbag after paying the clerk, especially while others are standing in line behind you, myself included.

I'm just letting you know that there are other travelers on this great big bus ride we call the planet earth.

Have a lovely day.

Your fellow human,
Brad

Two out of three ain't bad

2008-07-16T22:27:00.004-05:00

So far, I've only shipped three computers. Two were to this guy. One was DOA, the second made it, unharmed, working upon arrival.

The third, was to this guy. Thankfully, it made it and fired up upon arrival. I was worried it wouldn't with the previous track record, but I was informed today that it made it...

Just in case, I'd had it packed double tight. Because damn, I love that computer that he has.

By the way, if you remember Brett, click on the first link. It's an awesome blast from the past.

And if you don't remember the lyric from the song that is the title for this post, well, you're just too goddamned young.

Peace.

The pictures

2008-07-10T13:38:00.005-05:00

The parts, as received.

This is where I threw it all together, before the case came.

The case arrived the next day and I began installing the hardware.

Installation complete, after neatening the wires and cables.

Okay, I know what you're thinking: "Brad, why must there always be beer?"
The answer is this: Because that's the way I roll, folks.

Computer update

2008-07-09T13:55:00.004-05:00

Monday I got all of the parts for the computer, except the case. I had a spare case so I just kind of lumped most of the parts in there after installing the processor and got it up and running. I went ahead and loaded Windows XP on it so that I wouldn't have to do that Tuesday.

So yesterday, the case came in. It's a real beauty, all black and stealthy looking. If Darth Vader had a computer, it would look something like this one. I installed all of the parts in the case and got the cables and wires nicely bundled and then installed the drivers. (I've got pictures of all of this that I intend to get up soon, by the way. However, I will leave the finished product picture to Mike, since after all it is his computer. I'd hate to steal his thunder, you know. Besides, I want to see a picture of it at its home.)

I tested it last night. It's smoking fast and very, very quiet. I ordered an oversize Thermaltake fan for the AMD processor and it was the right choice. It really keeps down the noise. The case fan is 120mm that not only moves a lot of air, but is quieter than a standard 80mm fan. Even while running under a load, the computer does little more than a hum.

The DVD R/W is a little noisy when installing, but hell, aren't they all?

If everything goes well, I'll be shipping by the end of the week.

Stay tuned for pictures and such.

Total extreme geekage

2008-07-03T12:30:00.003-05:00

A certain blogger has commissioned me to build a custom computer for him. I've already ordered the parts and they're on the way. I am so terribly excited. This will be the baddest-ass computer that I've built to date. Most of the computers I've built in the past were from some spare parts and some new parts that were built out of necessity and on the cheap.

Not this one! I should get the parts in Monday and there shall be pictures of the build, I assure you.

Did I say I was excited? Hell, I'm giddy!

Joke off Monday 59

2008-06-23T09:48:00.000-05:00

A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch. He searches for someone who could give him the time.

He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. "Excuse me, sir," says the young man "Do you know what time it is?"

The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.

"Mmmmm, it is about 3:00," the zoo keeper responds.

The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you."

Have a great week!

Expressions redefined

2008-06-20T10:32:00.001-05:00

Justin created a new header for my blog yesterday, so I decided to go with a whole new look. You know, just for the sake of change.

Justin has become very talented at these things. It's amazing some of the work he has done.

Not a lot going on right now, but I hope you have a great weekend.

Ma'amphis Pride

2008-06-16T14:26:00.003-05:00

Saturday we had the Pride festival and parade here in Memphis. It's always great to go because I always run into some friends there that I don't normally see.

This year I got a call from a blogger and he told me that he was coming to Pride from his home in Arkansas.

Daniel and I met once before when he was here for a business thingy. But Saturday it was all about fun. It was a great pleasure to hang out with him Saturday and to meet "T" and "J". The weather was perfect, albeit a wee bit hot, but the beer was cold and the friends and conversations were fantastic.

I've got some more pictures that I'll post later this week.

A man's man

2008-06-14T02:34:00.006-05:00

I feel like I've lost a friend. A friend that I had much in common with and someone that I would have liked to have sat down and had a beer and burger with sometime.

Tim Russert was the best at what he did. He was a natural with all things political. He knew the ins and outs. The subtleties (and some times issues that weren't so subtle) of political issues. He was hard nosed without being offensive.

He was a working man's hero.

Justin can tell you, I was a Tim fan. He IM'ed me today to share his passing. Of course I couldn't believe it because Sunday mornings I watch Meet the Press, even if I watched no other show the whole day.

I'll never forget the 2000 presidential election night. He and Tom Brokaw were there explaining the whole situation. I remember Tim and his damned white board. I tell you, it made more sense than anything else. Like him, I had predicted that the election would come down to Florida.

Anyway, Godspeed brother Tim. You were a bright star in an abyss of mediocrity.

I don't know what I'll be doing this Sunday morning, but it won't be the same. That I can assure you.

Go Bills!

A movie we don't want to see

2008-06-11T10:56:00.003-05:00

Google search

2008-06-10T12:38:00.001-05:00

Step 1: Go to the Google home page and type "Who is a failure".

Step 2: Click on either "Search" or "I'm feeling lucky".

Teehee.

Joke off Monday 58 & 1/2

2008-06-09T14:32:00.006-05:00

I saw this picture and felt obliged to include it in today's Joke Off...

I have no idea if it's real or not, but it was way too funny. I've been sitting at my desk snickering for ten minutes now.

Joke off Monday 58

2008-06-09T10:25:00.003-05:00

This joke was sent to me by a friend, Jamie:

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he
notices a little girl next-door in a little red wagon with little
ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet.

The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice
fire truck," the firefighter says with admiration. "Thanks" the girl says.

The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the
wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

"Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to
run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar
too, I think you could go faster."

The little girl replies thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I
wouldn't have a siren."

There you are, another Joke off Monday. Have a great week.

Dear HRC:

2008-06-04T06:38:00.001-05:00

Oh, effing hell, Hillary. It's over. I don't care what Bill says. Let it go and move on.

Sincerely,

Brad

Who loves you, babe?

2008-05-31T09:34:00.004-05:00

I finally got the haircut. After threatening for well over a year, I had my head shaved. It was taking me entirely too long in the morning to fix my hair, as I was having to sweep it forward to cover my receding hairline and spray it into place.

Before my hair started receding, I always had my hair cut in a military-type style as it was easy to take care of. The fussiness that I was going through in the morning was growing old and tiresome.

So, I took a couple of pictures this morning, and I even smiled in one, just for you. That's rare, you know.

Anyway, I have a bunch of shat to do today, so I'm out of here. I hope you have a great weekend.

Comment game 9

2008-05-29T08:31:00.002-05:00

Things are still sucking at work, we laid off two people last week. It's getting really quiet around here...

In further developments, I got a haircut last week. Think short. Think very short. Maybe I'll get a picture up soon.

Today is Thursday and in the past we have played Larry's comment game, so I thought we might run that nifty little feature again. Here's how it works:

The way you play is by opening the comment box and picking one of the two items that the last commenter left. Pick the one that you lie best, explain why and then leave another choice for the next commenter. Feel free to play more than once, if you'd like.

I'll get things started: Black or green olives?

Wise-ass bird

2008-05-21T08:53:00.002-05:00

If only Elvis were this smart... I love how he wouldn't talk to the cops!

TOKYO, Japan (AP) -- When Yosuke the parrot flew out of his cage and got lost, he did exactly what he had been taught -- recite his name and address to a stranger willing to help.

Lost in Tokyo, Yosuke the parrot was able to give his name and address to get taken home.

Police rescued the African grey parrot two weeks ago from a neighbor's roof in the city of Nagareyama, near Tokyo. After spending a night at the station, he was transferred to a nearby veterinary hospital while police searched for clues, local policeman Shinjiro Uemura said.

He kept mum with the cops, but began chatting after a few days with the vet.

"I'm Mr. Yosuke Nakamura," the bird told the veterinarian, according to Uemura. The parrot also provided his full home address, down to the street number, and even entertained the hospital staff by singing songs.

"We checked the address, and what do you know, a Nakamura family really lived there. So we told them we've found Yosuke," Uemura said.

The Nakamura family told police they had been teaching the bird its name and address for about two years.

But Yosuke apparently wasn't keen on opening up to police officials.

"I tried to be friendly and talked to him, but he completely ignored me," Uemura said.

Generation Zee

2008-05-09T15:02:00.002-05:00

Last Saturday, I was volunteering at Memphis In May for the Beale Street Music Festival. I had a younger volunteer assisting me with a project. He kept complaining that he felt so bad because he had been out late the night before having a really good time with the alcoholic beverages and God knows what else...

So, after about the fourth or fifth complaint about his state of being, I finally said "Look, bud, you just can't party like it's 1999. Mainly because it's not 1999 anymore."

He looked at me and said "Dude, (Yes, he called me dude.) I was like twelve in 1999."

I resisted the urge to hit him for being so damned young.

But I'm sure my eyes rolled way back in my head...

Whatever?

2008-05-06T11:19:00.002-05:00

I just got back to the office from lunch. I was listening to the news/talk station and a lady came on and read the news. After she was finished reading she said, "That's the news for this hour. WREC News time is... (short pause)...whatever. Your next news update in thirty minutes."

You just can't make this stuff up...

The end of the beginning?

2008-05-01T09:13:00.004-05:00

It seems "Mission Accomplished" was only for the one ship that the president landed on in the jet that day. It meant nothing else. I seem to remember it somewhat differently, but whatever.

By TERENCE HUNT

WASHINGTON (AP) - The White House said Wednesday that President Bush has paid a price for the "Mission Accomplished" banner that was flown in triumph five years ago but later became a symbol of U.S. misjudgments and mistakes in the long and costly war in Iraq.

Thursday is the fifth anniversary of Bush's dramatic landing in a Navy jet on an aircraft carrier homebound from the war. The USS Abraham Lincoln had launched thousands of airstrikes on Iraq.

"Major combat operations in Iraq have ended," Bush said at the time. "The battle of Iraq is one victory in a war on terror that began on Sept. 11, 2001, and still goes on." The "Mission Accomplished" banner was prominently displayed above him - a move the White House came to regret as the display was mocked and became a source of controversy.

After shifting explanations, the White House eventually said the "Mission Accomplished" phrase referred to the carrier's crew completing its 10-month mission, not the military completing its mission in Iraq. Bush, in October 2003, disavowed any connection with the "Mission Accomplished" message. He said the White House had nothing to do with the banner; a spokesman later said the ship's crew asked for the sign and the White House staff had it made by a private vendor.

"President Bush is well aware that the banner should have been much more specific and said 'mission accomplished' for these sailors who are on this ship on their mission," White House press secretary Dana Perino said Wednesday. "And we have certainly paid a price for not being more specific on that banner. And I recognize that the media is going to play this up again tomorrow, as they do every single year."

She said what is important now is "how the president would describe the fight today. It's been a very tough month in Iraq, but we are taking the fight to the enemy."

At least 49 U.S. troops died in Iraq in April, making it the deadliest month since September when 65 U.S. troops died.

Now in its sixth year, the war in Iraq has claimed the lives of at least 4,061 members of the U.S. military. Only the Vietnam War (August 1964 to January 1973), the war in Afghanistan (October 2001 to present) and the Revolutionary War (July 1776 to April 1783) have engaged America longer.

Bush, in a speech earlier this month, said that "while this war is difficult, it is not endless."

Joke off Monday 57

2008-04-28T10:37:00.003-05:00

"It's been reported that President Bush was so impressed with Pope Benedict's recent visit, that after he leaves office Bush may convert to Catholicism. Bush said, 'I'd convert right now, but Dick Cheney freaks out if you get near him with a cross.'"-Conan O'Brien

Heehee!

Have a great week!

BushveeGore, damnit!

2008-04-24T17:46:00.005-05:00

I read this article at CBS News today concerning an upcoming interview with Justice Scalia.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/04/24/60minutes/main4040290.shtml?mpid=1732#ccmm

Do you see the factual misrepresentation?

I did. CBS has disabled the comment feature on the article for the time being, but I've been trying like hell to get mine in:

"There are some factual problems with this article. It was not Al Gore who petitioned the US Supreme Court, it was George Bush, et.al. The US Supreme Court overruled the Florida Supreme Court which had decided in favor of Al Gore et.al.

Therefore, it was Bush v. Gore: http://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/00-949.ZPC.html

Furthermore, there were four dissenting justices in the case: Breyer, Ginsburg, Stevens and Souter. Not two.

So much for the "state's rights" that the Republic Party is so fond of."

I'll watch the interview on 60 Minutes, and if he actually says "Gore v. Bush", he's a damned liar. He should know, the man was there! It's a wholesale rewriting of history, nothing more, nothing less.

And I'll keep trying to get my comment up at CBS news.

Joke off Monday 56

2008-04-21T10:35:00.003-05:00

At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes.

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

"And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Georgia.

"Elation," she said.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be 'giddy up' ."

Joke off Monday 55

2008-04-21T10:35:00.000-05:00

At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes.

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

"And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Georgia.

"Elation," she said.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be 'giddy up' ."

Daffodils

2008-04-18T10:36:00.003-05:00

I took a some pictures a few weeks ago of my daffodils while they were in bloom. I promised one of my bestest blogging buddies, Morgen, that I would post them since he's in Michigan and spring has yet to do it's thing there. In the first picture you can see the gazing ball that I bought from Morgen's online shop, The Wren's Nest.

The pictures aren't of great quality because I took them with my camera phone.

I planted these a couple of years ago and they are really starting to take off now.

They're no longer in bloom, but the azaleas are making up for it.

This is the time of year when Memphis is at its most beautiful, with multitudes of trees, shrubs and flowers in full bloom.

I hope you have a great weekend.

A Monty Python moment

2008-04-16T08:30:00.003-05:00

Last night I was grilling some pork chops when my neighbor arrived home. He said something to me that I could not hear, so I closed the lid and took a couple of steps away from the grill.

I said, "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you because of my sizzling meat."

Silence.

Then we both burst out laughing.

Maybe you had to be there...

Mike memed me

2008-04-14T11:36:00.003-05:00

I’ve been tagged by Mike for this get to know you meme. He tagged me sometime last week, but I didn't notice until yesterday. O, what a bad blog buddy I have become.

Here are the rules:

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1) What was I doing 10 yrs ago?
Ten years ago I was the Branch Manager and VP for a national title company. It was a truly shitty job, mainly because I was the youngest person at the office and the boss as well. For some reason, forty year old people don't like a twenty-something guy telling them what to do. Go figure.

2) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):
1. Take
2. it
3. as
4. it
5. comes.

3) Snacks I enjoy:
I don't do a lot of snacking, I eat two meals a day whether I need to or not. But, I am very fond of anything wasabi flavored such as wasabi edamame and wasabi almonds. Wait, does beer count as a snack?

4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. I'd pay off the mortgages of close friends and relatives, like yesterday.
2. I would consider buying my own private island, just to get away from all of the bs in this country.
3. I might try to travel, but I don't know how that would work out since Justin won't fly.
4. I'd piddle around with all kinds of tech stuff and gadgets.
5. That's a lot of money, so I'd have to investigate some charities and pick the best among them.

5) Three of my bad habits:
1. Smoking (Like a damned freight train.)
2. I likes the beer.
3. Chewing my fingernails.

6) 5 places I have lived:
1. Memphis, TN
2. West Memphis, AR (Very briefly.)
3. Bartlett, TN
4. Chattanooga, TN
5. That's it.

7) 5 jobs I have had:
1. Microfilm clerk
2. Mapper (Involves identifying parcels of land by legal description for posting.)
3. Rural Abstractor (Best job ever.)
4. Branch Manager
5. Vice-President/Title Manager (Yeah, the current job.)

Here, I'm supposed to tag 5 bloggers I want to get to know better, but instead of doing that, I'll let you knock yourselves out. If you do participate, let me know. I'll come visit and read.

Joke off Monday 54

2008-04-14T09:25:00.001-05:00

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

I hope you have a great week!

When it rains, it pours

2008-03-20T16:54:00.005-05:00

I was reading news about the devastating floods in the Midwest and came upon this picture. Such a tragedy, I tell you.

What? WHAT?

It can rain men like that in Memphis any 'ol time.

{{blgrpst}usrnm}}

2008-03-16T03:30:00.005-05:00

{{blgrpstbegin}}

I've been very busy lately with a software introduction at work, hence there are few postages from me.

Every thought I have lately is in squiggly lines.

I found some really strange stuff with the built in software options from our provider. We purchased this stuff for several thousands of dollars from a company that is supposed to know their stuff...

But, I've found several items like the Federal Tax Lien hot command (among others) in the exception area of policy commitments. Everyone knows that a lien is a requirement before a policy can be issued, right? You know that, don't you? It cannot be an exception.

So I'm constantly entering code like this: {{CHAR Instrument number?}}, {{CHAR Type of lien?}}. {{CHAR Recording Date?}}, ${{CHAR Amount without a dollar sign.}}

Or something similar.

Boring as hell, right?

But, that's what I'm doing, and a lot of it.

I miss you too.

{{blgrpstend}}

But in the end...

2008-03-07T10:50:00.002-06:00

So I got to thinking about my post from Wednesday. Let's see, stressed about money and work.

I suppose that make me normal, after all.

It looks like we'll be getting snow today. I know that will make a certain blogger very happy, indeed.

I hope you have a great weekend.

Just because I feel like it...

2008-03-05T22:54:00.003-06:00

I am so god damned tired of being stressed out over money and the effing job.

There it is.

Another quasi meme...

2008-03-01T23:53:00.005-06:00

...that I outright stole from this blogger. (He has great tunage as well.)

You've Been a Little Ruined by American Culture

Whether you live in the US or not, deep down you're a little American.
And there's nothing wrong with loving American culture, but it may have negative effects on your life.
Slow down and enjoy what you have. Reconnect with life's simple pleasures.
You don't need to be in a consumerist rat race. Life's too short to overwork yourself!

Has American Culture Ruined You?

My opinion on this particular blog doo-dad? I might be way too American, but by gosh we so need a reason to feel good about America again.

The consumerist jab? For real? I'm so cheap, even this guy acknowledges my thriftiness!

Joke off Monday 53

2008-02-25T10:00:00.001-06:00

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

On his first day of business, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "May I help you?"

"Um, yeah." the man replied. "I'm here to activate your phone lines."

Ba-da-bump.

Have a great week.

Bathroom pictures

2008-02-19T17:36:00.004-06:00

One day last week, after I was dressed, I was all like "I'm feeling pretty today", so I snapped a picture in the bathroom. It's ever so rare that the hair works out right, you know.

Then today, the bird was trying to get the razor from the shower caddy. He stands on the shower curtain bar until I leave the bathroom, then he jumps on the caddy to try to get my razor and I rush back in the room in just enough time to yell at him. It's a little game we play, I suppose.

Vee-Daay

2008-02-14T13:32:00.005-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone and especially to you, Justin! I mean, after all, you are my favorite boyfriend... ;) Smooch!

Who's the boss?

2008-02-11T19:07:00.000-06:00

I was going through pictures to organize them into a computer photo album. I ran across this picture from the computer build a few months ago that my brother snapped.

Why I didn't include it at the time of the post I don't know, but here it is.

For those that know me, it's a very typical slice of my life: working on a computer with a bird supervising on my shoulder.

I just can't shake Elvis...

**NOTE**: After re-exaining the photograph, this is not a picture of the build for MY computer, rather I was repairing Linda's computer at a completely different time. SHE must have snapped the photo. That raggedy shirt that I'm wearing is my favorite, even with all of the holes. That's why you see it in so many photographs.

Joke off Monday 52

2008-02-11T09:23:00.000-06:00

Mom is still in the hospital. It seems her lung was collapsed during the surgery, so the recovery time will be a bit longer. She should be home by Tuesday or Wednesday.

She's in some pain, but she should heal up nicely.

Oh yeah, the tumor?

Benign! It was very good news.

So anyway, today's Joke off was sent to me by none other than the Sweetie himself. Thanks, Curtis!

A young man was very excited because he just won a ticket to the Super Bowl. However, his excitement lessened as he realized his seat was in the back of the stadium. As he searched the rows ahead of him for a better seat, he found an empty one right next to the field.He approached the man sitting next to the empty seat and asked if it was taken.

The man replied, "No."

Amazed, the young man asked, "How could someone pass up a seat like this?"

The older gentleman responded, "That's my wife's seat. We've been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she has passed away."

"Oh, how sad," the man said. "I'm sorry to hear that, but couldn't you find a friend or relative to come with you?"

"No," the man said, "They're all at the funeral."

One more thing. The meme that I did last week? Bud Weiser has taken it and put a hilarious spin on it at his blog. I've never read the guy before, but he has a funny blog and I like the premise behind it as well. Just for the record, I know not a thing of the meme's origin, other than a co-worker sent it to me by email, I completed it and sent it back to her, and then on a slow day, I used it here.

But thanks, Bud for the well-wishes for my mom.

I hope you all have a great week.

Mom and a meme

2008-02-08T10:33:00.000-06:00

Mom is having her thymus removed as I type this. My brother is there at the hospital, along with my stepfather. I'll leave work a little early today and go by and visit. I'm thinking by this afternoon she will hopefully be out of recovery.

I have been most appreciative of your kind words, thoughts and prayers.

When I know more, I'll let you know.

Until then, how about a meme?

1. What time did you get up this morning? Seven-ish
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? I can’t remember, I don’t do movies because I can’t smoke there.
4. What is your favorite TV show? I don’t know. House, maybe? Any reality based cops show.
5. What do you eat for breakfast? Nothing.
6. What is your middle name? Bradford.
7. What food do you dislike? Liver and Veg-All Salad.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I’ve been listening to my Zune lately. My favorite album on there right now is Little Village.
9. What kind of car do you drive? Ford Crown Victoria or my Honda Passport.
10. Favorite sandwich? Monte Cristo, without the powdered sugar.
11. What characteristic do you despise? Dishonesty.
12. Favorite item of clothing? I have a very old, gray, long sleeved t-shirt with the number 23 that has seen much better days…
13. Favorite piece of jewelry? I have a few items, but I rarely wear them.
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Somewhere in the Carribean
15. What color is your bathroom? Green.
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Gap.
17. Where would you retire to? The beach.
18. What was your most recent memorable birthday? I don’t remember.
19. Favorite sport to watch? Football.
20. Furthest Place you are sending this? Tha blawg.
21. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? No one.
22. Person you expect to send it back first? No one.
23. Favorite saying? Hell YEAH!
24. When is your birthday? August 3rd.
25. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning.
26. What is your shoe size? 11
27. Pets? Elvis, the cockatoo, Duncan, the retarded dog and the cats, Shelby and Faye.
28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? Nothing exciting.
29. What did you want to be when you were little? The president. Seriously. Now I’m wise enough to know that I wouldn’t HAVE that job.
30. What are you today? Anxious.
32. What is your favorite flower? Geez. I don’t know. Maybe daffodils?
33. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? May 2nd.
33. What is your full name? xxxx Bradford Fxxxxx
34.What are you listening to right now? Stevie J. on the telephone in his office.
35. What was the last thing you ate? Chicken Cacciatore
36. Do you wish on stars? No
37. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Cornflower
38. How is the weather right now? Sunny and bright.
41. Favorite soft drink? Diet Dr. Pepper
42. Favorite restaurant? Le Chardonnay, I can smoke there.
43. Hair color? Shit brown. (What’s left of it, that is.)
44. Siblings? Yup, got one.
45. Favorite day of the year? July 4th, maybe?
46. What was your favorite toy as a child? Matchbox cars.
47. Summer or Winter? Summer
48. Hugs or kisses? Whichever.
49. Coffee or tea? Black, truck stop coffee, thank-you.
50. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate.
51. Do you want your friends to email you back? Whatever floats your boat.
52. When was the last time you cried? I don’t remember.
53. What is under your bed? I hate to even guess.
54. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Gene or Linda, I suppose.
55. What did you do last night? Made dinner, hung out with some friends.
56. Favorite smell? Jovan Musk for Men, whenever I smell it, it reminds me of my dad from when I was a child.
57. What are you afraid of? Jail and hell. That’s about it.
59. How many keys on your key ring? 10
60. How many years at your current job? Too damned long. Close to 9 years.
61. Favorite Day of the week? Sunday.
62. How many towns have you lived in? 2
63. Do you make friends easily? Not really, but when I do, they tend to be of the lasting type.

Why Huckabee?

2008-02-06T09:38:00.000-06:00

First of all, in Tennesse, one does not register for a party. Therefore, I am free to vote in the Republican primary even though I am a Democrat. One simply goes to their polling station and declares the primary they wish to vote in.

Yesterday, I voted for Huckabee in the primary.

In 2004, I voted for John Edwards.

But get this, In 2000 I voted for John McCain in the primary just to put the screws to 'ol Bushie boy. Al Gore was the uncontested nominee, so he didn't need my vote.

My vote yesterday was one of strategy. Once John Edwards dropped out of the race, I no longer felt the need to make my vote count in the Democratic primary. In a contest between Obama and Clinton, I frankly don't care about the outcome. To me, they're both inferior candidates to John Edwards. But, one of them will win and whomever that candidate happens to be will get my vote in November.

I felt that I could do more with my vote in the Republican primary yesterday. By voting for Huckabee, I was simply making it a tiny bit harder for the front-runner, John McCain, to get a solid majority of delegates. Although it appears he will eventually attain the nomination, after Huckabee's strong showing in the South, the Republican party will still be a bit fractured.

And I helped.

So, no, Mike Huckabee is not someone I want to see in the White House. I just like to play around in the primaries a little bit. It's my vote and I try to get the most bang for my buck.

There you are. I'm still the Democratic-liberal type that you've come to know and love. Nothing has changed and no, I have not lost my mind. I mean, how can you lose something you never had to begin with, right?

Huckawho?

2008-02-05T10:31:00.000-06:00

Today, I will be voting in the Super Tuesday primary along with many, many other Americans.

When I go in to vote, I'll be pulling the lever for Mike Huckabee.

I can hear you muttering, "He's got to be kidding."

No, I'm not.

Stay tuned and tomorrow I'll explain why.

Something about Manning

2008-01-27T10:48:00.000-06:00

Now, I tell you this, I shall be watching the Super Bowl this weekend. Mainly because my boy, Eli will be playing.

Remember this picture from a while back?

Pins and needles

2008-01-23T22:29:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I know, I haven't been around much at all lately. Things are very busy for me at work right now, I'm deploying new software on our computers that controls everything we do, real-estate wise. That on top of the stuff I'm already doing, there's not a lot of spare time. Lots of late nights and weekend work for me in the past is the best prediction for the future, I'm afraid.

Then, my mother told me last month that she has some sort of growth on her thymus. At first, I thought this was no big deal, they would just biopsy the thing and determine whether it is cancerous or not. You know, some sort of outpatient procedure.

But then she told me that the doctor was pretty sure it was some form of cancer, but of what form exactly, he (I say he, but I don't know that... go figure, it could very easily be a she.) couldn't be sure.

The worst case is that it is lymphoma.

The best case is that it is a type of cancer in which they remove the thymus and it doesn't tend to recur.

Anyway, mom will be in the hospital for three days after the surgery. That's because of the proximity to the heart and the invasive nature of the procedure. Hopefully, by the time she gets out of the hospital, there will have been a biopsy and we'll know what the straight skinny is. She's scheduled for the first week of February or the second week, depending on which hospital the doctor performs the surgery.

So, I haven't really chatted with anyone much about this and my nervousness about the whole thing. For some reason, it's easier to talk with you about this. The folks at work don't know, either. I guess I'll have to tell them so they know I'm visiting mom and not taking two hour lunches or something.

So yeah, Jake, I'm feeling you.

But, that would explain why I've been a bit distant or a little edgy (to the people that know me) lately.

The not-so-funny part? My first thought when mom told me? It was, "I don't have time for this right now."

But, I didn't say it.

Sheesh.

The Cure

2008-01-15T22:51:00.000-06:00

This movie is a favorite of mine, and it's the first time I recall seeing Brad Renfro.

If you've never seen it, it's incredibly touching.

Rest in peace: Brad Renfro 1982-2007.

The Cure

Joke off Monday 51

2008-01-14T09:51:00.000-06:00

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. While searching around for them, he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room, and he found himself completely naked in the halls of the world''s most powerful military organization HQ. But, luckily, no one was around to see him.

So, he ran as fast as he could to the elevator. When it arrived, it was empty. He breathed a sigh of relief and got in. When the doors opened on his floor, there was no one waiting outside. "This must be my lucky day," he said to himself. He was now only a few yards from his office.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming from around the corner. He heard the General''s voice. There was no way he'd make it to his door in time, so he ducked into the closest office available, and found himself in the laboratory for Research & Development. The Head Scientist looked up from one of her experiments with puzzled interest.

The soldier thought quickly, stood up straight and saluted.

"I am here to report the partial success of the Personal Invisibility Device," he said.

"I see," the Head Scientist said. "But the Shrink Ray seems to be working perfectly."

There you are, another Joke off Monday.

Today is also the two year anniversary of Southern Expressions. I've been polluting the internets for quite a while now.

I hope you have a great week.

A quick test from the Lem...

2008-01-11T23:38:00.000-06:00

I found this at the Greedy Maelstrom. You simply answer the questions and it picks the candidate most suited to you.

86% Chris Dodd
83% Barack Obama
82% Dennis Kucinich
81% Hillary Clinton
81% Mike Gravel
79% John Edwards
78% Joe Biden
68% Bill Richardson
53% Rudy Giuliani
40% John McCain
37% Ron Paul
27% Mike Huckabee
27% Mitt Romney
27% Tom Tancredo
17% Fred Thompson

http://www.gotoquiz.com/candidates/2008-quiz.html">2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Of course, I am still voting for John Edwards in the primary. Again. Should he not win the Democratic nomination, I'll vote for whomever is the candidate. Really, whatever. Anyone but Bush. Right? After eight years of the worst (illegitimate, thieving) president ever, not much could be worse, could it?

Overheard at the supermarket

2008-01-10T19:25:00.000-06:00

One day this week, as is my typical custom, I stopped by the supermarket after work to pick up a few items for dinner. Once I had chosen the meat that I would cook for the evening, I trotted over to the beer aisle, which is also the aisle with soft drinks, yogurt and some other stuff. (I don't pay much attention. This aisle has beer, right?)

There was a young child and his mother in the aisle scoping out the soft drinks. As I leaned into the cooler to pick up my twelve pack, the young child turns to his mother and asked, "Momma, does beer make you crazy?"

The mother glanced at me, then looked at her son, and said, "Honey, it'll be a long time until you have to worry YOUR head with that foolishness."

Oh, and I giggled to myself as I was walking out of the aisle, because I knew that it's not the beer that makes ME crazy. I had accomplished that all by myself, long ago.

Joke off Monday 50

2007-12-31T10:57:00.000-06:00

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse orders a scotch, gulps it down and slams the glass on the bar. He turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it 20 times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders two shots of bourbon, slams them down and nearly breaks the glasses on the bar. He turns to the first mouse and replies, "Yeah, well, when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it into a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and screw the cat."

I looked for a good joke about a garage, but couldn't find one, CKB.

Happy New Year, everyone!

A Christmas meme

2007-12-24T11:58:00.000-06:00

Wayne at Wayne's World tagged me for this meme. I'm not a Christmas person, but out of great admiration and respect for Wayne, I have decided to participate.

So here you are:

1. Wrapping or gift bags?

If I'm going to make a holiday gift pretty, I'll use a bag. I do NOT wrap.

2. Real or artificial tree?

Gimmie a fake one. It seems a shame to cut down a perfectly good tree only to throw it away after a few weeks.

3. When do you put up the tree?

Whenever Justin decides to decorate it. I might have a beer and watch.

4. When do you take the tree down?

Once again, that is a Justin thing.

5. Do you like eggnog?

I'll take mine with the booze, yes indeed.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

I don't remember.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?

I don't think we have one.

8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

Probably an ugly-ass sweater of some kind.

9. Mail or email Christmas cards?

Nope and nope.

10. Favorite Christmas Movie?

That one about the boy and his BB gun. Whatever it's called.

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

It can vary widely. The earliest I have ever bought a Christmas present was May, though.

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Prime rib, baby!

13. Clear lights or colored on the tree?

The more colorful and tacky the better.

14. Favorite Christmas song?

I like Bruce's "Merry Christmas baby." (But then again, I like anything by "The Boss".)

If you'd like to participate, wear it out, my dear friends.

I must get back to playing with my Zune. (No that is NOT what I call it, either!) Justin got me one for Christmas and I've been downloading NPR podcasts.

I so love the electronic gadgets, I really, really do.

Stifling

2007-12-21T14:55:00.000-06:00

I haven't been posting lately, mainly because I'm working so much and so many hours, I haven't had time to. AND if I had sneaked a post in here and there, it would only have been to tell how you how overworked and pissed I am about the situation to begin with.

But today, I have news for you:

IF something is NOT done about the EMMEFFING HEAT in the office, I shall be NAKED within the HOUR!

There you go.

Oh yeah, and all of that merry-merry stuff to you, too.

Bah

2007-12-05T10:08:00.000-06:00

Mo has a weekly talk blog show. This week's theme is: Ho Ho Ho or Bah Humbug: What's Your Holiday Mood This Year?

I'll tune in tonight, and I might even call in...

Just to spread my less than enthusiastic good cheer.

I'm looking forward to January, myself.

What about you?

Joke off Monday 49

2007-12-03T10:32:00.000-06:00

A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink.

He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."

So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"

But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."

The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."

The bartender said, "Your only child, I presume?"

Have a great week.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-22T05:05:00.001-06:00

I know I said I wouldn't be posting today, I guess I lied.

I couldn't resist the chance to wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving Day!

Wherever you are, or whatever you might be doing today to celebrate the holiday, I hope it is joyful and full of merriment.

Give some thanks, and do some giving.

I'm driving out of town at 0600, (with a fried turkey in the trunk of the car) to visit family for the day. Justin, unfortunately, has to work, but by working this holiday, he is assured of being off for Christmas, a very important holiday for him.

I love you babe, and I'll be back tonight.

Oh yeah, if y'all are somewhere and the Motown tunes are on in the background, tell someone to turn it up.

Only because it ain't Thanksgiving without Motown.

Peace.

J's birthday synopsis

2007-11-20T08:00:00.000-06:00

Fabulous dinner.

The wine choice sucked.

Justin wanted a zinfandel. (I mean, like it was his birthday or something!)

Me, being the hard headed bastard that I am, I chose a pinot. (Which was very bitter.)

Yes, I can be a dick like that. (For real, I am not effing perfect for chrissakes!)

Afterwards, we had a very cheap Rhine wine (a Justin favorite), purchased from a nearby liquor store.

My treatage.

We stopped by Justin's best friend's home. (Wit da froo-tay wine.)

They chatted.

Justin was all into it.

Life was better.

Your regularly scheduled...

2007-11-19T11:43:00.000-06:00

...programming has been preempted to bring you the following message:

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday, sweet Justin!

Happy birthday to you!

He's 29 today, folks. (Seriously!)

Larry's comment game 8

2007-11-15T09:09:00.001-06:00

I won't be posting this time next week, as I will be doing the Thanksgiving thing and getting ready for the "Frying of the Turkeys".

So, since it has been a while, I thought we might play the comment game. You remember how it works, right?

You open the comments section below the post, read the last persons comment and then choose one of the two items that you prefer. Then, leave two choices for the next person.

It's a lot more fun to play than my explanation might lead you to believe.

I'll get the ball rolling, and keeping in mind that it is Thanksgiving, I want to know:

Do you prefer ham or turkey?

Something I've known...

2007-11-14T12:16:00.000-06:00

...for quite some time.

I had a V8

2007-11-13T08:30:00.000-06:00

I was off yesterday for Veteran's Day. A well deserved day off, my friends, I assure you.

I was in the kitchen getting things ready for dinner about 3pm-ish when Justin saunters in. Pointing at a skillet containing my roux and simmering vegetables, he asks "What is that?" I explained that it was for the gumbo that I was about to put in the crock pot. (Yes, you CAN make gumbo in a crock pot! One must know what they are doing, but it can be done. I will take no flack from you purists out there. Do you hear me? None! Damned purists.)

He then looks at the red beverage that I'm sipping on. Again, Justin asks, "What are you drinking?" I replied that I was drinking a bloody mary. "Why are you drinking a bloody mary?" he asks.

I said, "I forgot to grab a bite to eat while I was out, so I thought I'd have one."

Justin said, "It looks awfully pink."

I replied, "It shouldn't be. There's not much vodka in it." ;)

So he said, "Well, I don't think it's hardly the same thing as actually eating."

Then I said, "I'm not getting back out, so this is what I'm having."

And for those of you wondering, the crock pot gumbo was delicious.

Joke off Monday 48

2007-11-12T11:51:00.000-06:00

I sent this as a draft to a friend Saturday to get his opinion on this joke for today. He said once he got it, it was funny... So maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't.

I thought it was funny as all hell, myself.

Aristotle, Plato and Descartes are on a plane.

The flight attendant comes by to take their drink orders. First, she asks Aristotle if he'd like a beverage.

Aristotle says, "I'll have a ginger ale."

"And how about you, Mr. Plato?"

Plato says, "Diet Coke, please."

Then she says, "and Mr. Descartes, anything to drink for you?"

Descartes says, "I think not," and disappears.

There you are, your Joke off Monday, after a brief hiatus.

Have a great week!

The office

2007-11-09T05:06:00.000-06:00

Good morning from Memphis, everyone. I've missed you. The last week and a half or so has been consumed with the office. A server to move, computers to patch through and set up, telephones to hook up, and a lot of furniture moveage. (Movage, perhaps? Eh, who cares. I made it up.)

Early mornings and late nights at the office. Saturdays at the office. Trips to and from the office. Coming to a consensus on the paint scheme for the office. You might be wondering about Justin and how he is... I don't know, I've been at the office!

I must tell you though, although the place is smaller than our other space, it is very nice. As soon as we get everything squared away, I'll post some pictures for you.

But anyway, I think I'll be working again on Saturday, but I'm hoping that will be the last one for a while. Then, I'm considering taking the whole week of Thanksgiving off. Yessir, my faithful readers, I shall have a whole week to prepare for the Frying of the Turkeys!

Git down wit my bad self!

I hope you all have a great weekend, and I should be around more. Soon.